Screw You Society – I had a miscarriage and I’m going to talk about it!

23 July, 2018 / 10 Comments

On this day last year my husband and I went through something that not many people knew about.  We had a miscarriage.  We kept our precious #2 a secret from most people.  Now, after a year and 12 weeks, I’ve decided I’m done with keeping the secret.  That little life doesn’t deserve to just be a hidden secret in only a few people’s memories.  #2 deserves to be talked about.  Because even though we never got to meet him, my body held him, and we loved him.

I’m posting a similar message on my personal Facebook page and thought I should share it on my blog too because I want to tell anyone who will listen.  Today I’m saying a big “screw you” to these damn society standards that we force ourselves and others to follow.  Why should it be a secret?  Why did we have to suffer alone?  We lost a life.  We lost our child, our daughter’s brother, and we didn’t even get a day off work.  I was miscarrying while I was working, for crying out loud.  How awful is that?  It was in my work bathroom when I first saw blood and begged that little life to stay.

I’m posting this on my blog to get this message out there.  To all of you who think you have to do things a certain way just because society “says” you do, say “screw it” to society and everyone else for that matter.  Do what you want to do and what feels right for you.  If you want to scream to everyone the day you find out you’re pregnant, then you go for it!  There is no logical reason to keep something so exciting a secret.  I never got to have that exciting announcement (apart from very close family and a couple very close friends) because the day I was going to do it was the day they couldn’t find a heartbeat.  Don’t wait until it’s too late.  Scream it from the rooftops!

 

Share your story: How do you feel about these pressures put on us from society?  It’s not just miscarriages – there are tons of other topics with pressures from society and other people.  Have you ever had a miscarriage?  Did you have to suffer in silence?  

Feature photo originally designed by Freepik, modified by Sharing Inspired Kreations

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Posted 23 July, 2018 by Sam in Discussions, Parenting / 10 CommentsTags: , , , , , , , ,


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10 Responses to “Screw You Society – I had a miscarriage and I’m going to talk about it!”

  1. I’m really sorry that this happened to you and I totally get your point. We should not be pressured to do anything just because society expects us to.

    I haven’t had a miscarriage before but my husband and I are struggling with infertility and I absolutely hate it when people ask WHY we don’t have kids yet or if we ever even want kids yet. Especially in my culture, it’s a pretty common question to ask at every family gathering.

    • Sam

      I’m so sorry for your struggles. It is so hard when people ask questions like that – and they don’t even realize how hurtful they’re being. I’m sorry you have to go through that. Sending positive vibes your way – hopefully things work out for you in the end!! <3

  2. So sorry to hear about your loss. But at the same time, good for you for talking about it – I agree that it should not be treated the way it is treated in society. People should share if they want to. And I also hope nothing like this ever happens to you again. My heartfelt condolences.

  3. I think that you should be able to talk about what you want, but I do understand how hard it can be to get out from underneath the societal rules concerning these things. I am sorry to hear you lost a kid, that must be very hard to go through and even more so when you can’t talk about it. I do think it’s important to be more open about these things and it can also be great for others who’ve been through the same to know they are not alone. And I think it’s a good thing you decided to talk about it.

    • Sam

      Thanks. It is a very difficult thing to go through and I so wish people would talk more! Thank you for your kind words <3

  4. When we got pregnant that first time, we told everyone right away. When I had the miscarriage, it was devastating, but I was actually glad that I’d told everyone about the pregnancy. I couldn’t have imagined walking around pretending that everything was fine when I was so depressed. I had a difficult time getting back to “everyday life” and I didn’t want to just move on. I’m glad that people knew so that they could be sensitive to what I was going through.

    • Sam

      Yeah, for sure. I wish I would’ve told and I would encourage everyone to. I’m so glad you told people and that you didn’t have to mourn in secret!

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